Frayed Edges & Awkward Silences

- Commentary -

"...where other sports, packaged into polished wholes, offer comfort and illusion, cycling - this sport of frayed edges and awkward silences - will continue to serve us with the truths we resist, the reflections we blink at, the lessons we refuse to learn, expressed over and again in a rush of men trying to win a bicycle race."

-Matt Rendell

I find it interesting that these last few words should so eloquently sum up the pages which preceded it, but indeed, almost ignore the point of the book itself. Mr. Rendell chooses to show us the Tour through the perspective of that of the domestique. A cyclist who essentially, through either lack of ability or choice of his own, becomes expendable. Specifically, he chose a friend of his, Victor Hugo Pēna, a domestique for Lance Armstrong (arguably the most notable cyclist of late). The stage - 15, the year - 2003 or as it was known that year, the Centennial.

I identify with the domestique and find myself thinking that is the position of my own life.  In most things, I have chosen the route of sacrifice as opposed to focusing on my own position. Through relationships, it is easier for me to identify with those who I view I can help, as opposed to those who remove that opportunity. 

That is not to say that I value myself higher for that sacrifice. It is not due to a higher cause that I find myself in this position, and no moral high ground is being sought after here. 

No, instead, distraction is necessary.

The domestique, although given some of the hardest and most suicidal jobs of the group. Literally tearing themselves to pieces to give their leader, their hope, a couple of seconds in the grand scheme of things. Seconds which will be gained, and lost, and regained as the days progress. But through this hard work, through this pressure, a peace is found. Thought is not necessary and a higher goal is given. A follower, dare I say a martyr is made, and legends are born. Not those who gain headlines, but instead those who gain trust, loyalty and friendship. Currency in a brotherhood not easily gained, but necessary in order to further oneself in the sport. 

The domestique is the unsung hero of the peloton. Perhaps this is the first of many which will regale us with the stories of not only the fabled duels, but also of the men who sacrificed themselves in the wake of gods. 

He does mumble and ramble sometimes though. Oh well.

Mushaboom

So I'm almost certain that I'm going to lose my new job.

It's simply too good to be true. Typically I would take this as a blessing and move on, but in the past three years my life has let it known that my supply of negative experiences (we'll call them 'character building') is, so far, vastly outweighing the positive (we'll call them 'pleasantries'). I personally have found that life seems to revolve around a certain status quo that must be maintained at all times. Your life generally has a path which will either have a positive or negative consistent status, pleasantries/character building exercises aside, it will find that median regardless and maintain an overall feel for that day/week/year.

This in mind, I have a concrete example (as concrete as these things can be).

Cycling has been a positive force in my life. Allowing me the opportunity to discover the physical fitness side of myself, as well as entering me into a world of support and camaraderie. I listen to the Two Johns (if you know em, you know em), and wrote in to the podcast to explain my situation and seek guidance. This was more than enough to make me giggle with the excitement of a small, school aged lass, but I even won their mail of the 'cast, which gave me a set of shoe covers and a set of socks. This was too much for me and I spent the rest of the evening gushing to my ladyfriend about just how cool it all was.

Unfortunately, following that Friday, I had a horrible weekend. I ended up getting kicked out of my 'apartment' (my aunts) having to change jobs and find a new place to live within a couple of days. It was probably one of the more stressful experiences I have endured in awhile. 

Positive followed by negative. Checks and balances to maintain a course which we cannot know.

So, with this job bestowed upon me, I am waiting for the 'character building' to commence. The overall feel of the past three years has been largely negative, so I feel this will be no different. 

I do hope though perhaps this is a turn for the positive. Perhaps the character is well and built and we are now ready to make use of it. As I've said, Cycling has been a positive force in my life, and I wish to bestow that same feeling to others. Perhaps God has looked kindly onto that endeavor and perhaps this is just where he wants me to be. 

If there's one thing I've learned, it's that happiness doesn't have a plan, but it does require an open mind/heart and the feet to get you there.

This is an awfully negative post, so lets say something nice.

WHOOO! PEARL IZUMI DISCOUNT!!! WHOOO NEW SHOES!!!! WHOOOOOOO!!!!

Cinnamon

It's kinda a dreary day outside today.

That's to be expected, I suppose.

Excited for this next week. Thanksgiving is always a pretty cool day and I get to work my first shift at the shop. I just love the feeling I get when I'm there. It's the same feeling I got when I was young and I would tutor younger kids with math and english, the feeling that I'm imparting some kind of good onto another. 

Been biking a bit. Nothing too long, but mostly due to my lack of equipment than anything else. Fortunately Christmas is coming up and I can get the things I need to get me all ready for this next season. My first season of racing, my first race... man it's kinda odd. I'm sure I'll look back fondly, at least I hope as much, at this next season. 

In other news, Left 4 Dead is intense to say the least. I am sure that the television will be relegated to zombie duty for at least the next month due to that. 

See These Bones

I gotta find some balance to life. For sure.

Always Were!

Headed to the Gopher hockey game on Sunday. I forgot what it was I liked so much about hockey until I saw the first PP goal made by our boys in the first period! Man it was sweet to see them dominate. It wasn't a close game by any measure, but at the very end it kept up the suspense by the Gophers down three to five for the last five minutes. Maybe not a real threat, but definitely enough so you stayed till the end.

I also caught a shirt from the Golden Gopher himself! Pretty cool, and got a free pizza out of the deal, not bad!

In other news, I got a job at the Midtown Greenway Freewheel Bike Coffee Shop (kinda a mouthful)! I'll be working Wednesdays and Sundays for sure and hopefully some Tuesday and Thursday nights. I am super pumped about working there (being as it's probably one of my favorite places in the cities) and I really hope to meet some guys to train with and become more involved with the local cycling community. 

Well, I'm off to go celebrate with Jaclyn at Campus Pizza/Pasta.  Stay slick!

New Window?

Dammit, no more cheap ass tires!

The fat, marshmallowy man lied to me. His tires are not made for champions! They are made for chumps!

Update: No less than twenty (freakin' twenty) punctures on the rear tire. To borrow the words of a frustrated and great boy... good grief.

The Butcher

November 14th, 2008

Wayzata Route (Kinda)

Fair/Hard

Ride: Base

2:45:52/4:24:21

40.88/65.92

Medium Intensity

172 lbs.

20 f. - 25 f. Chilly/Snow/Rain

Cadence - n/a

MPH - 14.7/29.0

Good ride, tried to retrace the route taken earlier when I went out with Jason (mixed outcome). Kinda found my way there, but got a little lost in Minnetonka and couldn't find the way into Wayzata (hence the kinda). Definitely a chilly ride, but any ride is a good ride at this point and it largely stayed alright so no complaints here. Unfortunately, I happened to flat on the way home, but the good news was it stayed inflated till I made it home and was able to repair it with a new tube (I really need a saddle bag).

I think that makes it ten tubes I've been through in three months...

Anyways, definitely need to keep this up, I am thinking that either Tuesday morning or tomorrow I will be able to get a little ride in. Hopefully if I get a new job I'll be able to not only afford this hobby of mine but also have the ability to start riding a little more. One can only dream :)